The poet Robert Burns said “Oh the gift that God could give us, to see ourselves as others see us” which leads me to ask would we really want to know how others see us which may be up for further discussion” because there will always be people who pick on each other.
But for now I would like to ask what happens when we major in the minors, by that I mean when we pick on our spouses, our parents, our children or our friends for what we perceive as faults — when we cannot back off and leave well enough alone — when we keep on nit-picking at someone maybe we need to ask ourselves if this is what is really bugging us or is there a deep seated problem that we cannot articulate?
I am thoroughly convinced that there are many of us who could benefit from some deep soul searching or counseling to help us arrive at a mutually satisfying solution to problems that plague us, that keep us awake day and night, when we cannot let go — and just laugh at our own pettiness.
Though not a psychologist I think that many of our personal problems arrive from a lack of self-worth, of wanting to be in control, from not feeling pretty enough or deeply loved by our friends and family — of our spouses, so we criticize each other, trying to make them fit our mold of how we think people should behave.
Does any of this make sense to you?
It does to me.
It is really hard to get to the root of our problems — to learn to control our tongues, our actions and just learn to love each other unconditionally .
There’s one thing I know for sure — no one likes to be belittled or made to believe that “it’s our way or the highway!”
I also believe that many of the crises that occur in churches, in work-places and in government often arise from problems within the home — between husbands and wives, when we can’t gain control in our homes we may try to control others who we feel we can get away with our destructive behavior.
We find it hard to see our problems for what they are .
We want to cast blame on someone else instead of letting well enough alone.
No one wants to be bossed around.
It doesn’t set well with any of us. especially between husbands and wives.
We each deserve to do our own thing unless we infringe on someone’s rights.
Maybe this is where many of these issues arise — from someone feeling like that they are not being consulted in major decisions — and of course most of these decisions seem to most always seem to come back to money.
Though only an arm chair psychologist I find myself sometimes caught in the middle and just want to give a friend or loved one the idea that maybe counseling might be in order because it is most often hard to see the real root of our problems.
Harmony is so much more important than conflict.
I hope something I’ve said helps someone who reads my insights.
It’s so much better to take care of those we have in our relationships than to cast care to the wind and not show understanding to those we cherish most.
It is like a good friend one time wrote “if you criticize your friends you will find yourself all alone.”
That’s some of the best advice I’ve heard.
Maybe we just need to ask God for wisdom.
We mostly want to just be loved unconditionally!
Contact Sarah at [email protected]