The poet, Ivy Elliot, wrote “Understanding is born of misery that passes through our life.”
“Understanding is born of misery that passes through our life.” I must agree. I can attest to the fact that we must pass through great pain in order to grow,.though at times we may feel ourselves going under for the third time.
Experiencing pain helps us to empathize with the plight of others.
I don’t believe we will ever gain an understanding of those who suffer, unless we, too, have passed through an equal or similar amount of tragedy within our lives.
It’s my assumption that it takes feeling the rugs being jerked out from under our feet, suffering the heavy hand of grief dealt out by death, divorce or moving, etc, before we can begin to not only empathize but lessen the load, helping to turn circumstances around for others. As we look within the eye, reach out, hold a hand, extend an ear, an arm, a shoulder in and throughout their time of need, we become more caring.
Whenever I’ve been held down by the devastating grief of loss whether by death or moving, I’ve received comfort from those who have been there, who got in there with me, who helped fight my battles with and for me, as their tears mixed with mine. Whereas those individuals who stood on the sidelines, withholding support, though they may have spoken written lines of comfort, their love became as a “tinkling cymbal or a sounding brass,” that lacked substance, that quality of realness necessary to comfort. It’s this trait of compassion that characterizes the care-giving nurturer who stands by our side into the night and wee hours of morning light, being ready to take our calls at 2 O’clock in the morning if necessary. They are the ones who benefit the most as they walk with a generosity of spirit, a glow, a spring, a resilience as they exude a radiance as their faces shine as angels full of love because they have learned through the misery that has all but crushed them.
Thus my friends have been nourished in return by all they’ve given to me by understanding my child-like needs, a part of my spirit that refuses to grow up, to become the stuffy adult. They’ve comforted me when I whimpered for understanding, when I’ve felt my back against the wall, not knowing which way to turn!
Who could ask for more?
Because life is reciprocal, we cannot make it alone, nor would we want to – and the ones who give out true, loving friendship, an understanding born through adversity, gets back more than they can ever give!
Pain is the the tool that breaks up our heart helping to shape us into what God wants us to be and I believe it takes drawing friends into our lives to shape us.
Love is like that!
Anais Nin wrote “we are angels flying with only one wing and we can only fly embracing each other.”
Because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever He always gets me to the right place at the right time.
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