Margie Jenkins has written a book by this title, in which one of her reviewers wrote: “Instead of the Lamaze method of helping with birth, your book is the LaMargie method for dying, giving psychological insight and specific steps to lessen pain and increase comfort during one of most stressful events in life.”
Of course, we all have spent time thinking, pondering over ‘our exit from this world to the next.’ Having spent a lot of time in the hospitals, nursing homes, funeral homes and cemeteries (over the past 50 plus years), I have been brought face-to-face with many of these issues. Now that I am on the mid-80’s rung on life’s ladder, I catch glimpses of ‘the other side’ from time to time. In the distance, I hear the ‘whistle of the glory-bound train’ it seems. It’s getting louder each time! Perhaps, you can agree with me: ‘I have the ticket purchased and have it handy in case of an emergency, but I am not quite ready to hand it over to the conductor.’
As we think about the end-of-life preparations, we begin to see there are many important decisions that must be made. Many are very difficult to follow through with on our own. We need a legal advisor to help with all the issues we will face. We need to work with our spouse, children, family as a whole. With all that is at stake, we need to make sure “all t’s are crossed and each i is dotted.” There may be a battle awaiting our survivors if we do not take care of such details now.
So today, get your pencil, pad or notebook. Make a list of family and friends you would like to thank for their ‘dear friendship or helpfulness.’ There may be some apologies to be made, some fences to mend, or some visits to make. What a great victory it would be for each of us to seek to heal hurts and offenses, ask for forgiveness and offer love to those whom we sense a breach in relationship over the years. What a victory and sense of freedom this will give one as final plans are made. Cross it off your list “as done!” Get that monkey off your back!
One of the most important things to do is prepare a last will and testament. This is the foundation for taking charge of your life and your death. There are many others directives we must consider to protect ourselves and family in these last days. These may include: Durable Power of Attorney, Durable Medical Power of Attorney for Health Care, Directives to Physicians (Living Will), DNR Directives, and others. Your lawyer will advise you on all of these.
There are all kinds of important papers floating around your house that need to be organized and put in proper files for easy finding. Financial records, various accounts, legal papers, insurance policies, long-term policies – do you know where they are for easy finding? What about your cherished possessions (whatever they may be)? Who do you want to have them? What can you do now to guarantee they will be routed the way you want? Why not make a list of these and pass on to your children and grands for them to enjoy. (Fine china and silverware, Jewelry, collectibles, family portraits, books, etc) Wouldn’t it please you greatly to eat a holiday meal with your children this year and see your wedding china being used? What joy that will bring you NOW.
Saying ‘goodbye’ doesn’t have to be the end of the world, so to speak. With careful planning now, you may ease the pain of making rash and hasty decisions later on. Leaving a legacy for the family is so important. Many of our family members really don’t know the struggles our generation went through to climb to this point in life. Take down the picture albums (pictures from childhood, high school events, weddings, reunions and such) for your next family gathering and announce “after lunch I want to sit down with you and let me tell you about some of these things.” Show them your Bible (s) with some marked Scriptures that are special. Maybe cry a bit, laugh a lot and hug and love on each other. What a way to begin this process….of preparing for the end of our earthly life….and getting ready for the eternal life to come. Maybe plan to close the session with a favorite hymn for all to sing. Choose one that may be appropriate for your funeral service: Amazing Grace, When We All Get to Heaven, It is Well With My Soul.
This doesn’t have to be a sad, morbid time. It is like writing the closing chapter on a wonderful drama or a love story that could never be captured on the screen. I dare you to begin this journey soon!
Good News March 5, 2025
Bill Crider Chaplain
Minden Medical Center