By Melinda Burrell & Greg Schumacher
We’re activists from different parties, and both are appalled by the violence in Los Angeles. As Senator Fetterman said, there is no excuse for the violence, and it should be condemned.
We should navigate this moment carefully. That’s the thing about conflict. It can be an opportunity to radically rethink and improve relationships, or it can spread and intensify into greater harm.
There are many good people in these protests who oppose this enforcement and simply want to voice their opinion. But there are actors from multiple groups who infiltrate protests such as these with the specific purpose to incite and execute violence and to create chaos. This calls for care.
There are ways Americans can understand each other and get along, even while disagreeing with one another. The two of us have been doing that for years. We offer the following thoughts to lower the temperature across the board.
It’s helpful to understand what’s happening in our brains and our bodies. When we perceive a strong threat, we get flooded with emotions and adrenaline. Often, we lose the ability to think rationally and creatively…just when we need those skills the most. Anger can feel good. It’s energizing, which creates a sense of power. But anger invites a response, and things can get out of control fast.
Here’s what we all can do to take the temperature down.
First, as individuals, when we hear or read something inflammatory, we can pause and take a breath. Literally. This gets oxygen to the brain, which triggers our body’s relaxation response. We start thinking rationally rather than reacting emotionally.
In conversations, we can choose words that are welcoming (“I hear you, and”; “Help me understand – tell me more about why you think that?”). If we’re scrolling, we can verify information before passing it on.
Pro tip? Our bodies react to a situation before our minds understand what’s going on. We can get better at quickly sensing when our shoulders tense, lips purse, heartbeat increases. Then we can pause, identify what is angering us, and choose how to respond rather than just react.
Second, as groups, we can commit to nonviolence. We can adopt codes of nonviolence and make sure everyone coming to our events, as well as media covering them, understand that our events are 100 percent peaceful and do not involve damage to property or persons.
Third, public figures can learn the dynamics of conflict and how their words and actions contribute to either escalation or de-escalation. Public figures on both sides engage in rhetoric the other side views as potentially inciting violence.
As conflict grows, we become convinced we are absolutely right, interpreting everything through a righteous lens. We lose the humility and curiosity to hear even a kernel of truth in what the other is saying. Emotions take over and we fall back on default stress behaviors we learned as children – usually not constructive. Communication with the “other side” decreases. Conflict metastasizes to include other issues and people.
However, by understanding conflict dynamics, public figures can choose to work together toward de-escalation, starting by increasing rather than decreasing communication. They can also engage peace teams, community mediators, or others trained to de-escalate provocative crowd situations.
We have a great country, but it’s filled with anger, fear, and mistrust on all sides. Let’s take a breath, regain our rationality and creativity, and figure out a way forward together.
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Greg Schumacher is a retired Army Major General and Chairman of the Republican Committee of Fauquier County.
Melinda Burrell, PhD, syndicated by PeaceVoice, is a humanitarian aid worker who studies polarization and trains on the neuroscience of communication. She is on the board of the National Association for Community Mediation, which offers resources on cross-divide dialogue.