Karen’s Korner
As Senior Adults we have seen many losses in our lives. If we live long enough, we will experience even more. And, as a result of those losses, we face times of grief.
I was talking to one of my friends the other day and she said her greatest loss was her 16 year old grandson. She said he was a wonderful young man. He was very smart, very precocious, and very wise; just to be 16. He was quite athletic, and he had excelled in football, soccer, basketball and any other sport he put his mind to. He loved school, was very active in his church and was a leader among his peers. J.T. was taken from his family by a car accident involving a drunk driver who had turned in front of him and caused the accident. Her next comment, with tears in her eyes, was this: “I don’t think I will ever get over the grief.”
Grief is something that we all experience, especially when we lose a loved one. And we all grieve differently. It is a natural emotional, cognitive, and physical response that constitutes a major change in our life. It is universal, yet personal, and it involves a range of emotions like sadness, anger, confusion and numbness. While there is no set pattern in dealing with grief, there are some steps that can be helpful.
Here are some suggestions to help us to deal with grief from the Cleveland Clinic:
1. Practice self-care -Taking care of your mind and body is essential when you’re grieving.
2. Stick to a routine – Grief interrupts your sense of normalcy, disrupting your emotions in the process. Sticking to a routine is a good way to regain a sense of control and regulate your emotions.
3. Attend to your emotions – Resist the urge to distract yourself from difficult emotions by getting lost in work or hobbies. Grieving requires dealing with painful emotions. Don’t be ashamed to cry. Allow yourself to remember moments you shared with a loved one who’s no longer in your life.
4. Reach out to others– One of the best ways to deal with loss is to remind yourself of the connections you still have. It’s OK to need alone time when you’re grieving, but don’t isolate yourself.
5. Speak to a counselor or grief counselor -Sometimes, working through grief requires professional help. If grief is interfering with your ability to live your life or if your symptoms haven’t improved after six months, it may be time to reach out to a professional.
“I think that you just have to be grateful for the years that you’ve had with someone, and you just try to remember the very best of all that. Take their energy that they had given you then, and just kind of recycle that, and let that become a part of you. Just honor their memory and just know they’re in a better place than we are these days.” (Dolly Parton’s advice in dealing with losing her husband recently.)
It always helps us cope by eating a balanced diet, getting exercise (a quiet walk in the park or getting out in the sunshine), reading inspirational materials, listening to music, and prayer!
It is good to grieve, but it is always best if we can control our grief, and not let it control us…